Wow, didn't even think I had an account anymore. I guess writing blogs about my life had taken a backseat to living it for awhile. I dont even know where to start! lets see, now working on divorce #2, I am unemployed for the firast time in 15+ yrs, (see blog post "Life in General)  living with my 21 yr old nephew, not seeing my kids but every other weekend, (I am used to having them %50 of the time. This is the most difficult thing I have ever done.) and I have begun isolating myself quite a bit. here i am, closer to my family than I have been in 20 yrs, and I sit here, day after day, doing nothing but existing. I think I slept 16 hrs yesterday. This is not me, and it is not good. There is one good thing about this situation; it gives me a chance to pause and consider where I have gone wrong, and where I have gotten it right. It forces me to be honest with myself about how much I have sabotaged myself. One thing I have had to face is that I am piss poor at planning and follow through. I need to work one that. 

Another thing that I have realized, and this one really sticks in my craw, is that I cant do this alone. I need help. Now coming from me, thats a pretty big admission. It's also a fairly big hurdle. I've never been one to admit weakness. I'm not a whiner. Nor am I weak, and I have always associated needing help as a weakness. That has been a mistake. I could go on and on about how I came to be this way, and I do know. Perhaps i will write about it eventually, but not today. This is enough.

I am still alive!

Well, as I stated in a previous post, I started an Atheists/Skeptics/Freethinkers group here locally, and last night we had 6 members at our meetup! WooHoo! I know that doesnt sound like much, but hey, for only our third meetup, thats fuckin great!

We basically are just sitting around BS'ing at the moment, but I got a lead on getting some local college profs to give a lecture or two. (crossing my fingers!) I think we may also do screenings of some debates and speeches by Dawkins and Harris. As anyone who knows me can tell you, I am about the most unorganized procrastinator you could ever meet, so I called in some help, The Reverand of Rants, Art, has stepped up to help me organize, and I am grateful!

http://revart.blogs.com/

Ill keep you updated.

And if you live near me, you should be hearing about our next meetup on local Public Radio!

"If he is infinitely good, what reason should we have to fear him? If he is infinitely wise, why should we have doubts concerning our future? If he knows all, why warn him of our needs and fatigue him with our prayers? If he is everywhere, why erect temples to him? If he is just, why fear that he will punish the creatures that he has filled with weaknesses? If grace does everything for them, what reason would he have for recompensing them? If he is all-powerful, how offend him, how resist him? If he is reasonable, how can he be angry at the blind, to whom he has given the liberty of being unreasonable? If he is immovable, by what right do we pretend to make him change his decrees? If he is inconceivable, why occupy ourselves with him? IF HE HAS SPOKEN, WHY IS THE UNIVERSE NOT CONVINCED? If the knowledge of a God is the most necessary, why is it not the most evident and the clearest."
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley, The Necessity of Atheism